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Finally, 13 years ago, I realized that if anyone was going to build the place I dreamed of, it would have to be me. When I started working on Pink Sofa, I consulted with lesbians all over the world to find out what they valued in a community.
I'm back in school and I feel like a social retard now lol!
The reason I share this story with you is because what I want to talk about with you in this post today is how to ask a girl out -- and my 14 year old self got it all wrong.
I'd been planning to write a post on this for some time, but a reader just wrote in asking about this one specifically -- so, I'll put this one off no longer.
Yes, you can share each other’s different interests, but that’s why you need to ask this question, to see if you would enjoy adapting to their interests or if they would enjoy adapting to yours. You’d be surprised with the answers to this question.
As humans, we assume that people have the same expectations that we do. Here you get a taste of what motivates the other person.
I didn't know about escalation windows at the time, though I guessed something like that might be the case -- and sure enough, she said "no," albeit in a very socially gracious way.
She told me she wanted "to be friends first," which I knew meant we weren't going to the dance together.
With the use of modern technology, people can date via telephone or computer or meet in person.
This term may also refer to two or more people who have already decided they share romantic or sexual feelings toward each other.
Unfortunately, men and women are wired differently. Not only are we different because of our genders, but we’re different because each person’s past experience helps mold their expectations and each person’s past experience is different. You’ll get a taste of what drives them, what gives their life meaning and significance. It’s always nice to know what the other person views as ideal in their eyes. Let them name the top three qualities that are non-negotiable. What have you learned from your past relationships?
It also gives you a view of what a future would look like with them. You can see if you’re looking for the same thing in terms of what makes a relationship good. Ideally, it would be nice to go through each of your past relationships, not to relive pain or point out the mistakes of your exes, but it’s important to know that the person you’re with has learned from their own mistakes and isn’t just moving forward ready to make the same repeat mistakes with you. These are deep questions that could lead to lengthy conversations, but it’s important to know what you’re getting into.
—————————————- Give the person time to think about these questions. Failed expectations are what causes a lot of disappointment.