Dating a guarded woman
Dating a guarded woman - dating a younger boy in high school
Hear this: Not everyone you feel a connection with, no matter how mind-blowing, is your soul mate.You can fall for someone who is totally wrong for you, as unfair and confounding as that reality can be.
Walls protect our egos, the person we want to believe that we are, not our hearts.
Guarded means lots of different things to lots of different people, and it’s rooted in even more different feelings. This type of “guarded” R and I were discussing – aka my former type – exhibits as a girl with a tough exterior – she’s edgy, she dishes it out and she can take it right back, she isn’t overly emotional. But what may seem like a personality type or act is actually more like a defense mechanism used to protect against getting hurt.
The best way to explain it is to explain how the whole guarded game works using the example of giving and receiving affection in a new relationship – a real trouble zone for any guarded person.
R and I were having a conversation on the hike down from Runyon Canyon about the way I used to approach dating prior to our meeting.
R likes to talk about this because it’s a confidence-boosting reminder that the way I dated other people prior to meeting him was bad/wrong/ridiculous.
I've been doing my best to actually get out there and meet guys, and take invitations from friends I've known who've told me they've had feelings for me for a while, and go out to dinner or for a night out in the city.
And it's been nice, but the interaction has been markedly different than anything I knew prior to Josh and Isaac.
I feel as though I'm walking around constantly with my eyes darting back and forth, with my shoulders pushed up close to my ears and my arms hugged across the front of my body. I'm fine talking about what happened with Josh and the other relationships I've been in, but there's no spark in me when talking about . I've thought about why I'm feeling so disconnected, and it's not only because the wounds are still too fresh, but rather a direct association between wanting to fall in love resulting in an acute, stinging pain.
Lately, I've snapped back closed like an oyster guarding a pearl.
This is the example I provided R that made him look at my as if I was a foreigner and/or alien.
In this case “I” am a guarded girl/person and “you” is a guy I’m newly dating.
To anyone else, everyone would just say, "It takes time! " But for me, there's more that's so hard to stomach.