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I dropped the bomb a few months ago and he wasn’t there yet, and he still isn’t there.He put everything on the line for his last girl and she never said she loved him back. I’ve made it clear that this is a new relationship and that I am not his last girl, but I can’t help but think his baggage is weighing him down. Everyone moves at a different pace, so it might take a guy a little longer to reach the same emotional level as you because of his previous romantic experiences (or a lack of experience altogether).
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He said he wasn’t going to choose you over his wife/girlfriend and now he’s got a replacement Other Woman. Now, I’m not going to say that it’s not a question that doesn’t run through many a person’s mind but when it becomes damn near an obsession and it prevents you from letting go and focusing on you, something is very wrong.
He said he didn’t want to get married and now he’s engaged or married. If you are obsessing about the relationship, him, the who, what, why’s and when’s, the shoulda, woulda, couldas, and the can’t, won’t, don’ts, you are either in standstill or regressing into the past because You are putting yourself at the centre of his decision to be with someone else or his actions after you. It’s not about her because you are two different people and the likelihood is that if he was effed up when you were with him and he’s taken up with someone else, he hasn’t changed which means that there is something about the relationship with her that let’s him believe that he can continue being himself.
He said he wouldn’t leave his wife and now he has…for a different girl. In reality, that’s giving yourself too much credit for impact, and him too much credit for actually having that much connection to his thoughts! You also need to remember that with men who habitually mess women around, they ALWAYS blow hot at first which means that when you are losing your mind obsessing over him, he’s going through the same hot phase that he treated YOU to at the beginning.
But eventually, lukewarm or downright cold kicks in.
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Try to allow emotional checkpoints to unfold naturally and give your guy some time to catch up.
If you’re on different pages, the last thing you want to do is force the issue.
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